New UK design hotel…with a twist

You know you are in for something when you get a press release sent to you which is not so much about the new hotel it is puffing, but about the hotel’s owner, who has plainly written the copy and, underneath her name, announced ‘A Life Worth Living’. Pretentious or what? This new hotelier is also keen on throwing out anyone who doesn’t fit the bill, with a sign on the door announcing that ‘the management reserves the right to refuse admittance’ and ‘assaults on the staff will not be tolerated’! Quite a place, in fact beautifully and unusually designed with a classic exterior in a lovely place…. watch out for my column to find out what it’s called, where it is and what I thought of it. It won’t be joining our list of favourite hotels in that area though.

Britain’s most offbeat bed and breakfasts

This year, I was asked to judge a new category in the AA hotel awards – Best Funky B & Bs. Perhaps funky isn’t quite the word I’d choose but whatever you call the contenders – individual, imaginative, wacky, lively, different, fun – the AA is right to identify b & bs that break the mould.

Perhaps the establishments champion local artists, are proud to be green, or simply exude a sense of fun, but places to stay such as these are often hard to categorise and therefore neglected when it comes to accolades, and it’s high time they were recognised.

Not that funky is always fab; indeed there are some truly cringe-making examples of the genre. I remember a guesthouse in Gloucestershire where a perfectly charming old Cotswold house had been painted unrelenting purple from top to toe, with wall mirrors at odd angles and only waterbeds on which to sleep. And another “holistic” farmhouse in Wales where the bedroom furniture turned out to be mainly packing crates and guests were asked to hold hands and chant before dinner. I shudder at the thought.

And what of the “themed bedroom”? It rarely works in my experience. Whether it’s “Arabian Nights” or “African Jungle”, the room may thrill the hotelier who thought up the unusual concept, but unless its decoration was carried out with style, panache and a bit of expense, it can have a completely negative effect on the unsuspecting guests – who are, after all, the ones who have to sleep in it.

How often does an extrovert theme, or off-the-wall decoration, mask a badly run hotel? Too many hoteliers think that it’s enough to look hip, or go green, or stuff their hotel with peculiar antiques and bric-a-brac but it’s simply not. In my book, any winner of a funky b & b award must display imagination, yes, but also high standards of hotel-keeping in equal measure.

And so, in judging the AA’s five shortlisted hotels (I stayed one night in each of the hotels, anonymously), I looked for funky, yes, but also for comfort, professionalism, a warm welcome and value for money. If prizes were being handed out for second and third place, West Stoke House and the Mayflower would make worthy runners up.

As for my winner – is the Crazy Bear the Funkiest B&B in Britain? I think it would be very hard to beat.

The Crazy Bear, Oxfordshire

Is it funky? How else do you describe a reception that’s a double-decker bus, or a garden that’s full of palm trees, pastiche Classical statues and mannequins hanging in trees (plus a private dining room in a garden shed)? In the cosy bar, where oysters are served along with your Champagne, a large (and presumably crazy) stuffed brown bear dangles from the ceiling; up some steps in the English restaurant, padded pink walls, leopard-print carpet and wine bottles in rows lining the ceiling.

Down some steps in the exotic Thai restaurant: low seating, circular beaten metal tables and grinning gold masks embedded in walls of velvet. In your bedroom, along with much else of note, you’ll find the bath, not in the bathroom, but at the end of the bed.

Bedrooms range from tiny Art Deco rooms to fabulous Infinity Suites, camp and kitsch in the extreme (one has jet-black, fake fur on the walls and white, padded satin on the ceiling) but also beautifully executed and not remotely tacky.

Though we had booked one of these standard rooms, we were given a complimentary upgrade on arrival to a beautiful peppermint green Garden Suite with large windows on two sides, a pair of throne-like, leaf-shaped chairs and a huge (and funky) arrangement of flowers.

Save for our Thai dinner, which was enjoyable if unexceptional, we could find no fault: charming service, a wonderfully comfortable bed and (even on a Monday night) a gently animated buzz. In the morning: a promptly served breakfast, with plenty of choice, which you can eat in the bar or in the softly lit, pink-padded restaurant.

Yes, the Crazy Bear, in a quiet suburban setting, is full of surprises, highly individual and, just as important, very well-run: a worthy winner.

• Bear Lane, Stadhampton, Oxfordshire (01865 890714; www.crazybeargroup.co.uk). Doubles from £125 to £380, including breakfast.

Moss Grove Organic Hotel, Lake District

“What do they give you to eat there, then, moss?” queried the taxi driver at Windermere station when my friend and I asked to be taken to Grasmere’s first (indeed almost, but not quite, the UK’s first) organic hotel. We smiled wanly. We were slightly worried ourselves. Nuts and more nuts, we assumed.

We pondered what an organic b & b might look like. As it turned out, a former run-down guesthouse in the centre of Grasmere has been given a terrific face-lift, its stone façade cleverly illuminated by special one-watt lilac halogen bulbs that, so they say, cost thousands to install but will – apparently – never need to be replaced.

Inside, everything – from the clay-based paint and hand-printed wallpaper to the locally made, sustainable-wood furniture and the sheep’s-wool insulation – is organic. Even the tap water is specially filtered, we were told. “So the bath water’s pure, is it?” we asked. “Try drinking it and see for yourself. You can drink the water from loo if you like.”

The bathroom, as it turns out, was reassuringly normal, not to say luxurious, despite its much-heralded organic status. We didn’t drink the bath water but we did appreciate the underfloor heating, spa bath, excellent separate power shower and the room’s clean lines.

There were a few niggles: no wastebin, nowhere to put our washbags and no bath gel, just sachets of shampoo and a bottle of liquid soap (organic, of course) to share between shower, bath and basin.

The bedroom was similarly high tech (luckily, it would seem, you can be organic and still have a plasma-screen TV and Bose entertainment system). If you want to know what an organic DVD selection consists of, I can tell you: Basic Instinct II and Westerns.

Superb beds: cotton sheets and goose-down duvets, of course. Breakfast was definitely funky: a varied and imaginative buffet with dishes that ranged from savoury tofu and walnut bread crostini to Mediterranean salads, plus – of course – plenty of nuts.

• Grasmere, Cumbria (015394 35251; www.mossgrove.com). Doubles from £125 to £250 per night, including breakfast.

The Gallery, South Kensington

Walk into The Gallery and you are in for a surprise – and a trip back in time.

Though you wouldn’t guess it from the outside, this is no run-of-the-mill central London tourist hotel, but – as the brochure informs us – a recreation of a Victorian artist’s residence.

The theme makes for splendid reception rooms: dozens of closely packed, ornately framed paintings crowd together on mahogany-panelled walls, while a fine Jacobean revival chimneypiece takes centre stage. Button-back chairs, velvet-covered sofas and tall, potted palms add to the feeling that Burne-Jones or Rossetti might appear at any moment, palette in hand. Downstairs is a cosy Arts and Crafts-style sitting room, decorated William Morris wallpaper, and a spacious, attractive breakfast room.

Though The Gallery’s Victorian theme doesn’t extend to the bedrooms, they do have a certain old-fashioned charm. Ours was fairly small, but full of gilt and silk, with draped curtains and canopied bed, polished granite bathroom and French windows on to a terrace overlooking a small mews and the backs of houses opposite. Despite its trailing, oddly unhemmed valence, the bed was firm and excellent, and the room cosy: we slept very well. Next morning, we descended in the amusingly minute lift and re-entered the artist’s parlour. All in all, an unusual London hotel (with 24-hour room service for drinks and light meals, though slow on our visit) with delightful, quirky reception rooms. Perhaps though, as far as this award is concerned, The Gallery is more comfy than funky.

• 8-10 Queensberry Place, London (020 7915 0000; www.eeh.co.uk). Doubles from £145 to £275, including breakfast.

The Mayflower, Earl’s Court

Having trudged past a series of dire budget Earl’s Court hotels, my initial feeling on reaching The Mayflower was one of relief: its smart, freshly painted façade instantly put it in a league of its own. No disappointment, either, once inside: to the left, an airy bar/sitting room, with a bird trilling in its cage; to the right, a spacious reception area, calm and sophisticated. Despite the modest (for a central London hotel) layout of £95 for a mid-range double room I sensed that I was in good hands and ready to face what I knew would be a tiny bedroom with equanimity.

Tiny, but perfectly formed and, if you consider ethnic style funky, then funky, too. In a clever move that makes this budget address feel both hip and characterful, The Mayflower’s owners have enlivened the rooms with oriental artefacts, carved wooden cupboards and mirrored bed heads, silk cushions and velvet bedspreads, plus attractive blinds and sweeping curtains at the windows. Give them individual doors instead of the basic ones that are there now and they would be even more special.

My room, No 17, was a small oblong, with no space for a bedside table, but a useful wooden ottoman at the end of the bed, plus a desk (with a folder of guest information and a complimentary copy of The Daily Telegraph) and chair, a huge blue urn on top of the cupboard, and a glass lantern that, as night fell, cast striped shadows on the walls, transforming the room into something like a Berber tent. It was minute, yes; with two of us it would have been even more cramped, but I couldn’t imagine better use being made of its diminutive space.

By morning, the excellent breakfast – in the airy, stylish breakfast room – came as no surprise, and I reflected, as I left, that The Mayflower stands out like an Aladdin’s lamp in a junk shop among inexpensive central London hotels.

• 26-28 Trebovir Road, London (020 7370 0991; www.mayflower-group.co.uk). Doubles from £89 per night, including breakfast.

West Stoke House, West Sussex

If like me, you can’t imagine what’s going to be funky about this large, white Georgian mansion in peaceful countryside near Chichester, you’ll only have to wait long enough for the owner to greet you at the door and take your bags. Rowland Leach – rotund, wild-haired, bandy legged and dressed in baggy shorts and Chelsea boots all year round – is definitely the funkiest thing about West Stoke House. And if you are funky, then so, as night follows day, is your hotel.

A few years ago, Rowland found West Stoke House in a sorry state, personally renovated it and opened it, with his wife, Mary, as a b & b. Soon, however, they added a restaurant, installing Darren Brown, formerly of the Lanesborough Hotel, as chef.

On a Saturday night, it was packed with young and old, all enjoying the laid-back atmosphere and glamorous setting. In the large hall (for drinks): poster-red walls, red leather bucket chairs, yellow curtains across a wall of windows, an eclectic assortment of tables and lamps; in the lovely ballroom (for dinner): stripped wood floor, vast, colourful paintings and candlelight; in the dining room (for breakfast): panelled walls painted duck-egg blue and starched, white tablecloths.

The bedrooms are calmer: elegant spaces decorated with French antiques and unframed paintings by local artists. There are also fresh country flowers, plasma TVs, DVDs and huge beds dressed in Egyptian cotton. Ours overlooked the carefully tended garden, and had a large bathroom with a tub so deep that I had to be winched out. When we arrived, Rowland had whisked us up to it, merrily carrying our bags. In the morning, there he was again, still in his shorts, a cheery wave for all.

• West Stoke, Chichester, West Sussex (01243 575226; www.weststokehouse.co.uk). Doubles from £150 to £175, including breakfast.

New Openings

J.K. Place Capri

J.K. Place, one of our favourite boutique hotels in Florence, has recently acquired a younger sister on the Mediterranean Island of Capri, J.K. Place Capri.

A seductive small hotel in a bleached white villa, it has a stunning location overlooking the island’s main harbour from where it enjoys sea breezes and fabulous views. The decoration by Michele Bonan is original and contemporary with classical references, combining strong and soothing colours, and using the softest, most luxurious fabrics. The restaurant serves Mediterranean/Italian food, and has a romantic terrace where you can dine in summer.

The Haymarket

Tim and Kit Kemp’s latest project, the Haymarket has just opened in the heart of London’s West End. It occupies a superb Nash building (and separate townhouse), with a stunning interior designed by Kit whose unique contemporary English style blends excitingly with the Regency architecture. Each of the public areas has its own distinctive look, with original artworks, and fabrics and furniture that range from the sophisticated to the zany. The 55 bedrooms and suites also display Kit’s trademark bold palette and rich textures. Guests want for nothing, as there is a restaurant (serving northern Italian cuisine), gym and spectacular 18-metre pool.

The Bath Arms

A night in the freshly refurbished Bath Arms is more like staying in a private house than a hotel, which was the aim of new owners, Hillbrooke Hotels. The 18th-century building is on the Marquess of Bath’s Longleat Estate in Wiltshire, and has a theatrical new look, devised by interior designer, Miv Watts. Each of the 14 richly coloured bedrooms has its own individual theme: choose to sleep in ‘English Eccentric’, ‘Geisha’, or the more risqué ‘Karma Sutra’ (with a nod to the current Marquess). The kitchen, presided over by chef Frank Bailey, produces excellent locally-sourced British food.

New Finds: Recent additions to thehotelguru.com

The Horn of Plenty and the Arundell Arms, Devon

Salmon stocks on the Tamar may have fallen in recent years, but this Devon river remains one of the loveliest in the country, and there are no less than three special places to stay where you can take full advantage of it. We’ve loved Hotel Endsleigh, with the river running through its wonderful grounds, since it was opened last year by Olga Polizzi, but Fiona Duncan has recently stayed at the charming restaurant with (very elegant) rooms The Horn of Plenty, overlooking the Tamar valley at its most majestic, and the delightful Arundell Arms, a traditional fishing and shooting inn with 20 miles of fishing on the Tamar and its tributaries – and happily added them to our Devon list of recommended hotels.

The Well House, Cornwall

Further west, near the pretty village of Looe and close to the Eden Project and other fine Cornish gardens, The Well House, tucked inland in a secluded position with lovely views, has recently changed hands. Its new owner, Richard Farrow, is an ex-marketing man and has dreamed up some really imaginative weekend breaks for guests, from one-to-one cookery lessons with the gifted chef to having your own classic car for the duration or taking helicopter rides to the Scillies. Anyone for tennis? Bring your tennis four to Well House for exclusive use of the court, plus fine dining and a good rest.

Pongwe Beach, Zanzibar

Our Zanzibar list of recommended hotels has been put together for us by Zanzibar expert Simone Topolski. Another Zanzibar expert, Julian Carter Manning from tailor-made travel company Tanzania Travel, added one more hotel to the list: low key and secluded Pongwe Beach, which he declared one of his favourite hotels in the world – “a piece of paradise”.

Alta Bay, Cape Town

A recent trip to Cape Town (great for a short break as there’s only a couple of hours’ time change) introduced us to several superb hotels and guesthouses, not least Alta Bay in leafy Higgovale, with fabulous views over city and bay far below and only a short distance from the cable car to the top of Table Mountain. As a chic, understated place to stay it ticks all the boxes.

Hotel News: June 07

The Crazy Bear, Oxfordshire

Is this the funkiest hotel in Britain? The Crazy Bear, in Stadhampton, just south of Oxford has won the AA Funky B&B Award 2007. Who was the judge? Fiona Duncan! I was given a short list of five AA-listed hotels to choose from for the award. Most weren’t funky at all, but the Crazy Bear most definitely is. Leopardskin on the walls, satin on the ceilings, mannequins dangling from the trees, a red double decker for reception … but more importantly it’s a very good hotel as well. Even better: a sister Crazy Bear opens in late summer in Beaconsfield.

Bedruthan Steps, Cornwall

Feeling green? Family friendly Bedthruthan Steps at Mawgan Porth in Cornwall offers pampering for frazzled parents, including Maharlika spa treatments, excellent food in its adult-only restaurant and wonderful sunsets, with OFSTED-inspected nurseries and kids’ clubs for the children. And now you can join hotel staff ‘beachcoming with a conscience’. They’ve ‘adopted’ Mawgan Porth, the wonderful beach over which the hotel looks, and trawl it every three months. Next up: September. Call the hotel for details.

Banys Orientals, Barcelona

The excellent budget hotel in the trendy Born district of Barcelona has recently added 13 new suites (also great value at £111 per room per night). As well as the hotel, in a charming old, green painted house, you can eat downstairs in Señor Paralleda, a delightful colonial-style restaurant serving inexpensive Catalan dishes.

The Seaview, Isle of Wight

Set in the breezy village of the same name, a stone’s throw from one of the island’s best beaches, this long-favourite star of the British seaside is getting a major facelift. In July seven new luxury Seaview Modern rooms will be unveiled to complement the existing 17, which have also been given a stylish makeover. The new look has been shaped by London designers Keech Green Interiors, who were keen to retain the spirit of the hotel with a look that’s classic yet contemporary.

A high time at low tide

Summer’s here and so is global warming. Although the UK may not be a sun-soaked paradise yet, summers are undeniably getting hotter and, in an effort to shrink our carbon footprint, many of us are planning holidays close to home. The traditional British seaside holiday has been given a fresh twist by the new breed of hotel that is bringing an air of sophistication to our shores. Leader of the pack was Olga Polizzi’s stylish haven, Hotel Tresanton in the harbourside village of St Mawes on the south Cornish coast, and where Tresanton led, other hotels have followed, offering a welcome alternative to prosaic bucket-and-spade type accommodation.

Suddenly the Cornish seaside has become a cool place to be: Jimmy Choos and floaty kaftans mingle happily with colonels and cardigans in towns and villages all over the county. As stylish as Tresanton but with a large garden, ideal for families, Driftwood has the air of a chic yet relaxed Provençal hotel, excellent food and its own perfect crescent of private beach. Another family-friendly favourite, St Enodoc in Rock is in peak condition: freshly painted, with new fabrics, bright colours, clean lines and easy-going comfort. Off the Cornish coast in the Isles of Scilly, California meets the Atlantic Ocean at Hell Bay Hotel, the creation of Robert Dorrien-Smith, the hereditary owner of the islands of Bryher and Tresco, who has filled the hotel with his own collection of modern art, much of it Cornish and Scillonian.

The trend is not limited to Cornwall: stylish, informal hotels make it possible to combine the delights of beach and pier with a contemporary, comfortable and laid-back place to stay no matter which stretch of the coast you head for, whether it’s Cardigan Bay, where the colourful Harbourmaster Hotel has a prime location on the waterfront in Regency Aberaeron (no children under five), or Kent, where the Zanzibar has introduced a slice of metropolitan chic to the somewhat faded resort of St Leonard’s with its smart, exotically themed rooms. Back in Wales, a new seaside hotel looks set for great things: Holm House in Victorian Penarth, near Cardiff. And for a gritty, workaday yet absorbing sea view, plus a laid-back atmosphere and great fish and chips, look no further than the Pier at Harwich in Essex.

If you choose Southwold, a timeless, beautifully kept resort a little further along the coast in Suffolk, you can take the extended family with you. Put the oldies in the Swan, the younger ones in the Crown and ring the changes by eating in both (they operate a cross-billing system). The Swan’s invitingly slouchy drawing room makes everyone feel at home, and there’s a real buzz in the Front Bar at the Crown. Alternatively, if you head out to the Isle of Wight, the George Hotel is a handsome 17th-century building in the charming town of Yarmouth, whose owners have cultivated an easy-going atmosphere and a great garden brasserie. These are just some of Britain’s best seaside hotels….stand-out ones are still few and far between but they are most definitely on the rise.