Small but perfectly formed: Steephill Cove

“Where are you taking me?” I called out to my friends Michael and Lucinda as they raced along a woodland track. “ Back in time”, they called back. “We can go down by the steps or by the path. Race you to the bottom”.

 

We’d been lunching with friends in Ventnor and were driving out of town when on a whim Michael pulled into a tiny car park near the Botanical Gardens. They wanted to show me Steephill Cove, a hidden world of its own tucked into the Undercliff and accessible only on foot or by boat.

 

I took the steps that lead steeply down through semi-tropical vegetation and eventually squeeze between two stone cottages at the bottom. Suddenly I was amid a jumble of rocks and a riot of colour – old-fashioned striped deck chairs, fluttering flags, brightly painted beach huts and front gardens filled with hydrangea, agapanthus and exotic palms.

 

Steephill Cove is small but perfectly formed, lined by pretty cottages, some thatched, plus a seafood restaurant fit for castaways on a desert island, a crab shack and a beach café, all with glorious sea views. The sound of children’s chatter and their yelps of delight as they dodge the waves fills the air; for entertainment there’s rock pooling, and swimming, or lazing with a good book in a deck chair, the sort with a shade that shields your head from the sun. This southern stretch of coastline has a tropical micro-climate: there’s a much better chance of blue skies than elsewhere and it’s often baking hot.

 

Britain has many lovely beaches and seaside spots, but Steephill Cove, to which I have often since returned, has a special charm, partly because of its hidden quality, partly because the beach is privately owned (each house owns the portion of shore in front) and partly because of the Wheeler family, who have been fishing from here for around 500 years. Every morning, brothers Mark and Jimmy go out in their boat, and the crabs and lobsters they bring back are served, simply with salads, in the delightful Boathouse restaurant, run by Mark and his wife Vanessa. A wooden beach shack on two floors with an outdoor upper terrace, it’s like something out of Robinson Crusoe, and an in-the-know secret that’s never advertised but booked solid in high season (open only for  lunch, May to October). The shellfish are also served as crab pasties and sandwiches and lobster salads, from Jimmy’s Crab Shack just along the beach.

 

Their father, David, looks after the deck chairs and the beach, and has been awarded an MBE for the effort he’s made over the years to keep it safe, clean and unspoilt. “He’s 82 now, but he can still carry six deck chairs at a time”, Vanessa tells me proudly.  “He loves this place as we do; he still sleeps in the bedroom he was born in”. A sign on the blue and white painted deck chair store asks customers to put the money in the slot: £2 for all day hire or £1.50 after 1pm.

 

In the middle of the cove is the brothers’ fishing boat, pulled up on the shore and surrounded by buoys, nets and lobster pots. At the far end is an ice-cream kiosk and a queue of children, and Bill and Jayne Nigh’s Beach Café, which does a swift trade in snacks and drinks on its sun-trap terrace overlooking the sea, with a jolly mural across one wall of surprised-looking yachtsmen bobbing about in their boats.

 

Best of all, you can stay at Steephill Cove. Bill Nigh lets Seagull Cottage, for two, while Vanessa and Mark own three superb self-catering properties: the Crow’s Nest, the Boathouse, next to the restaurant, and the new Lighthouse, built earlier this year, with a fantastic circular master bedroom. If you can’t wait till summer, consider a winter weekend break in one of them, at amazingly reasonable prices.

 

Essentials

 

For further information visit www.theboathouse-steephillcove.co.uk and www.steephillcove.com. For more information about the Isle of Wight, visit www.islandbreaks.com. Wightlink (0871 376 1000; www.wightlink.co.uk) offers a 24-hour shuttle service to the island on a choice of three routes.

 

 

A week in Provence

Two types head for the South of France: those who want to be seen and those who don’t. Those who do crowd together on the coast, jangling their jewels in the Negresco and Eden Roc, and enduring nose-to-tail traffic jams as they crawl along the Corniche. Those who don’t love the region as much for its broom-covered hills as for its raffish, scintillating seaside; for the dry heat, clear light and scent of pine, and for the heady fusion of art and landscape, wine and sunshine that gives Provence and the Côte d’Azur its unique, dazzling variety.

Head for the Domaine de Terre Blanche at Tourrettes and you can dip into both worlds. And if you are en famille, make a beeline. Of all the resort hotels in the region, it’s the one that caters best for parents with teenagers and young children, while cleverly managing to be equally enjoyable for couples on their own. There are endless activities on offer, from canoeing and riding to pétanque, plus an imaginative kids’ club for 2 to 12 year old, setting parents free for a spell on the golf course or in the superb spa. Service is that of any Four Seasons hotel, but staff are particularly warm and friendly here, and there’s a feeling of spaciousness, calm and well-being. Fly to Nice (Cannes-Mandelieu for private jets) hire a car and wind up through the hills to the hotel. You could easily descend to the coast during your stay, but you won’t.

Four Seasons Provence, Domaine de Terre-Blanche, Var

Tel 00 33 4 94 39 90 00; www.fourseasons.com/provence.

Rates from €445 (low season) to €925 (high season) per night for a deluxe Four Seasons suite, including breakfast. 

Sailing in Brittany: magic

Just back from a wonderful sailing holiday with our friends Antony (the best skipper in the world) and Julia (the best mate, in both senses of the word) in Brittany on their beautiful 40 ft yacht, Pastime. Now I remember: there’s nothing more enjoyable or rewarding than sailing in beautiful weather (I’m a fair weather sailor, me), and getting from A to B by the power of the wind (and occasional help from the motor when the wind chooses to flag) with the promise of a plateau de fruit de mer and a glass of Muscadet sur le Lie at the end of a day at sea…or even, quite possibly, during it.

 

We set off from pretty Pornic, and first sailed to the enchanting Ile d’Yeu where friends Nadine and Neil have had the intelligence to have abandoned the rat race and to live in a charming white and blue shuttered house with a lovely burgeoning garden by the sea. After pottering round the quay side market, Nadine took us on a cycle ride round the island (they don’t even own a car anymore) while Neil prepared a feast of delicious local smoked tuna (the island is a tuna fishing centre) and patagos (a special clam) mariniere for lunch in the garden. Wonderful. And then we snoozed in the sun. We also visited Nadine’s remarkable father, Roger and his remarkable artist wife, Charlotte, two memorable people in one unforgettable house, filled with Charlotte’s luminous, enigmatic, philosophical pictures. London? Forget it. I’m off sailing, and maybe after a while at sea I will settle here in the Ile d’Yeu. Bye Bye.I mean it. All I need is a boat. And a crew…..

Next day we set off across the Bay of Quiberon to reach a tiny island called Houat, one of a pair of peaceful sisters, Houat and Hoedic, which mean ‘duck’ and ‘duckling’ in Breton. Houat lives on fishing and tourism. Its population grows from 340 inhabitants to about 3000 visitors a day during the summer, many of them congregating in its cutest of toy town villages, with houses so small and dainty that it felt as if one was walking in a model village. Dunes and sand lilies characterise the rest of the island.

By now I was seriously getting in to cooking on board, having found a copy of a book I wrote 30 years ago, after a two year stint as a cook aboard charter yachts in the Caribbean: Cooking Afloat. God the writing is pompous, but the recipes…. not too bad! For years they seemed hopelessly outmoded and I never used my own concoctions but now, their retro take on making the most of the store cupboard and cooking with the simplest of fresh ingredients are back in fashion and Julia and I had much fun in testing them out. Tuna baked with crisps…yum! Perhaps not baked bean soup, though…. that’s taking things too far, recession or not. 

After a night at anchor in Houat, it was off to the Gulf of Morbihan and then Belle Isle… more of which another time.

 

The Hotel Guru goes Krug camping

What’s the connection between champagne, Mexican food and Mongolian yurts? None whatsoever you might think, but believe me, when conjured by the makers of Krug, this bizarre brew makes a pretty magical combination.

 

All will be revealed. The bare facts are these: we are camping in yurts, we are eating a Mexican feast and we are drinking Krug on tap: the Grande Cuvée, the Rosé and, pièce de la résistance, the statement 1996 Vintage.

 

The camping bit is being carried out in extreme boho-style luxury, though devotees of Krug would, I suspect, be content to sleep on nothing more than a mattress under the stars in this particular campsite. It is Krug’s own vineyard, Clos de Mesnil, perhaps the finest of only 16 walled vineyards in Champagne, sheltered not only by its protective walls but also by the surrounding houses of the village of Mesnil xxxx. The grapes from this sunny, sloping plot of gold, with views from the top across gentle hills patched with dark green woods and bright green vineyards, help to make the exquisite blend for which Krug is renowned and also, in certain top quality years, a champagne in its own right, Krug Clos de Mesnil. Here too, in the Krug maison, is one of its presses, plus high tech wine room and hundreds of handmade oak casks in which the grapes are brought vibrantly to life. Go camping at Krug and an expert from the House will guide you round, and explain all.

 

Forget hotels, stuffy or not. This is a wonderfully different way of spending time with friends or colleagues; expensive, yes, but truly one-off. At various times of the year, eight traditional yurts and one onion-domed, Persian-carpeted Grand Pavilion, all handmade by family run tent company LPM Bohemia, will spring up at Clos de Mesnil and other locations around Europe. Each large and airy circular tent contains a blissfully comfortable double bed dressed in Irish cotton and canopied in muslin, plus antique furniture and mirrors, fresh flowers and scented candles. Lighting, inside and out, is courtesy of bespoke lantern maker, Jig Cochrane.

 

By nightfall, the mood is set, the light from the lanterns piercing the gathering dark. Thomasina Miers, the celebrated chef and owner of Wahaca in Soho, produces dish after refreshing dish of the Mexican food for which she is renowned, and we all help to barbecue the most tender of beef bought by her that day from the butcher in Reims. The connection between champagne and Mexican food becomes clear: champagne, declares Tommi, is the perfect companion for her dishes, the only wine that can take the chilli. And where do the yurts come in? “Just a bit of fun”, says Charlie Mount, from Krug.“Why not?” Why not indeed?

 

Dinner over, singer songwriter  Tallulah Rendall, barefoot and full of charm, woos us with her gently swooping voice and delicate guitar playing. The champagne flows into the night, accompanied by Tommi’s wicked chocolate truffles, laced with chilli. The lanterns guide us to our tents. Champagne, Mexican food and Mongolian yurts: bizarre indeed, but also memorable.

 

Music, castles and lakes – and Berlin too

You are in Berlin for a short break, for the city’s excellent, inexpensive shopping, for its superb museums, its dark and joyful memories, its palaces and pomp (in central Mitte) and its funky edginess (in Kreuzberg). As more and more of us are discovering, Berlin makes an absorbing and affordable choice for a weekend away.

 

Take my strong advice: don’t go home. Not just yet. Extend your stay, if you possibly can, by a night or two away from the city, and indulge in a contrast that will make you almost disturbed by the powerfulness of its effect. “Berliners need three days to completely adjust to the tempo here”, say Helmuth and Alla von Maltzahn, owners of the romantic Hotel Schloss Ulrichshusen where we stayed. “At first they find the peace positively unsettling”.

 

Heading north, leave Berlin and follow the sparsely populated autobahn through a flat landscape of tall pines and even taller wind generators  for an hour and a half (sat nav makes the trip a doddle). Now you are in Mecklenburg-Vorpommern, Germany’s second largest yet least populated region and, more specifically, in Mecklenburg’s lake district, an area of polite hills and of valleys filled with stretches of shining water, some huge like Müritz See, others no more than overgrown ponds. Over 600 of them make a patchwork with natural forests, undulating meadows and reedy marshland, with sleepy market towns and forgotten villages dotted between. Of course there are houses and cars, as everywhere, as well as wind farms, the odd factory or platten architecture (communist style housing blocks) in the distance, but the sense of watery calm and silence and of being about 20 years behind the times, is palpable.

 

Waren, on the shores of Lake Muritz, is the region’s main town and low-key tourist hub. Distinguished by a huge red brick Gothic church, typical of the area, it offers cobbled streets, leading off a spacious central square, brightly painted houses, a small harbour and an air of pleasant domesticity. The lake is for boat trips, fishing, sailing and bird watching, while to the east, the Muritz national park is the place for walking and cycle rides. Winters are sharp and cold, summers often extremely hot.

 

Now the northernmost part of Germany, stretching to Poland and the Baltic Sea, Mecklenburg-Vorpommern’s old fashioned tranquillity is bizarrely at odds with its history, having been pushed and punished for centuries, under the control, at various times, of Sweden and Poland as well, of course, as the communists from 1945 until the Berlin wall came down in 1989.

 

Baron von Maltzahn, Helmuth’s father, had inherited 35 properties in Mecklenburg, a land of castles as well as lakes. In 1945 he was forced to flee with his family to the west, and the ruination of his manor houses and farms, accumulated since the 13^th century, swiftly followed.  When the Berlin wall came down, Helmuth, Alla and their two young daughters drove north to see what they could find of the houses that Helmuth had heard lovingly described as a child. “I felt I knew the castle at Ulrichshusen so well that sometimes I forgot I hadn’t actually lived there as a child”, he says. “And when I stood in its burnt out shell and received a hefty owl dropping on my shoulder (since time immemorial, a good omen) I knew we had to return and rebuild it”.

 

It took seven years. Now the von Maltzahn family lives at its foot and the soaring Renaissance castle, standing alone on the shores of its own unspoilt lake, operates as a very comfortable low-key hotel. At once forbidding, with its cliff-like walls, and engaging, with its pretty adjoining gatehouse and rocket-like tower stuck to its side, it offers 35 spacious, elegant guest bedrooms with attractive furniture and ensuite bathrooms on two upper floors. On the ground floor there’s a vast baronial hall and gallery and a cosy sitting room and, in former stables, a charmingly rustic restaurant. Best of all is the delightful, summery breakfast room set in the glass-walled top floor of the circular tower. All for the price of a basic b&b in Britain.

 

 

How to decorate this rebuilt castle? In a stroke of genius, the von Maltzahns invited a talented Russian muralist to decorate much of it, which he has done so artfully that it’s impossible to tell what is trompe l’oeil and what is not. The breakfast room, surely, has a tented ceiling, complete with folds and seams and open flaps where the sky peeps through; the plunging circular staircase winds through a  ‘family tree’, an oak whose branches are hung with coats of arms, stretching from basement to skylight; a corridor leading to bedrooms contains a glass fronted apparently filled with Maltzahn family memorabilia; step into the lift and you are in a gilded birdcage in which Papageno sings his famous aria each time it starts.

 

But there’s more to lure you to this lovely castle in the middle of nowhere. Stay between June and September and you can coincide your visit with a concert, set in a massive, specially converted barn as part of the annual Ulrichshusen classical music festival. “Menuhin put us on the map” Helmuth tells us, “by agreeing to play during our first season, not long before he died”. Nowadays you’ll find the likes of Alfred Brendel, Anne-Sophie Mutter and Nigel Kennedy amongst many other stellar names on the programme.

 

Essentials

Air Berlin (www.airberlin.com; 0871 5000 737) has daily flights from Stanstead to Berlin Tegel from £24 per person, one way. AVIS (0844 581 0147; www.avis.co.uk) have offices at Berlin Tegel,  Tempelhof and Schönefeld airports, where cars can be hired from £18 per day.

Schloss Ulrichshusen, nr Waren (0049 39953 7900; www.ulrichshusen.de). Doubles from £60 to £97 per night, including breakfast.

 

 

Caroline de Rothschild’s gorgeous soaps

Looking for the perfect personalized gift for girl or bloke? My friend Caroline makes the most wonderful soaps in the old dairy of her farmhouse at Exbury. Handmade using an old fashioned process, they contain a combination of olive, palm, coconut and avocado oils together with luxurious shea butter, plus the finest essential oils to create the perfume and allow them to last for ages. “Nothing goes into the soaps that I wouldn’t eat” says Caro, and they certainly look good enough to eat. Even better, she packages them in charming wooden boxes fashioned after her family’s famous Mouton Rothschild wine cases and personalises the pretty printed labels for each customer. The label on the box (one of several in my house) in front of me reads, appropriately for the man in question “Caroline de Rothschild olive oil based, natural, handmade SAILOR SOAPS for ANDREW These SEAWORTHY soaps are made specially for yachties, anglers, surfers and old sea dogs. Just add water”.

Go to Caroline’s beautiful website, www.carolinederothschild.co.uk and see what I mean. If you buy, let me know if you agree with me about what lovely and unusual gifts they make. They’ve certainly brought pleasure to my friends and family.

Where the Venetians Eat

It’s often said that Venice is a poor place for food, and that its restaurants are a disappointment, especially compared to other Italian cities. But that’s only true if you are prepared to look no further than your nose ­­– or rather no further than the main tourist trails around St Mark’s and the Rialto. Armed with the right addresses, you’ll find a rapidly growing clutch of gastronomic eateries specialising mainly in the local cuisine, not slick, trendy places as in other cities but tiny ones with a great neighbourhood feel about them. Fish, from the superb market in Chioggia) is often the speciality. As for fine dining, there are only a handful of places worthy of your money; the two best, described below, are both hotel restaurants close to St Marks. The neighbourhood osterie,  trattorie  and bacari (wine and snack bars) where the Venetians themselves go to eat and drink are often buried deep in quiet backwaters amongst a maze of calli and canals. Many are tiny: it’s best to book in advance at any time of the year. Here’s a selection.

 

Agli Alboretti Rio Terrà Foscarini, Dorsoduro 884 (0039 041 5230058).

Back in the 1950s Agli Alboretti, just along from the Accademia, was a haunt of artists and art aficionados, including Peggy Guggenheim. After years of closure, the charming Anna Linguerri brought the restaurant and its adjoining hotel back to life and made it popular once more with well-heeled Venetians. In 2006, the chef, Pierluigi Lovisa, took over the management, and the restaurant’s reputation for innovative yet well balanced combinations of colour and taste has never been higher. A perfect venue for a low-key yet sophisticated family celebration, either inside in the pretty dining room or, in warm weather, outside under the pergola. The interesting wine list, created by Anna, remains strong on grappa and vini da meditazione (dessert wines).

 

Alla Madonna Calle della Madonna, San Polo 594 (0039 041 522 3824; www.ristoranteallamadonna.com).

This famous trattoria, tucked down a side street by Rialto Bridge, was opened in 1954 and makes a great choice for a large group of friends. Always busy, often with a queue outside, it’s memorable not so much for it’s traditional dishes as for the bustle, the old-fashioned ambience and the swift service from uniformed waiters. Speed is the essence: you can be in and out inside an hour.

 

Al Portego 

Calle la Malvasia, Castello 6015 (0039 041 522 9038).

For a typical, and good value Venetian bacari, try this upper floor, wood-lined place with prettily curtained windows and a separate eating area for those who want to be one remove from the buzz. Choose from the range of cicheti (snacks) or hot dishes such as pasta e fasioi or bigoli in salsa, or simply stand at the bar with the locals and have a glass of wine.

 

Anice Stellata

Fondamente della Sensa, Cannaregio 3272 (0039 041 720744).

On a romantic canal side in a slow-moving corner of Cannaregio, this simple, family-run osteria, opened in 1999, has gained a strong reputation for traditional dishes that are carefully cooked and often subtly flavoured with herbs and spices (the name of the restaurant means star anise). You might try carpacci di pesce (thin slices of raw tuna or salmon dressed with olive oil and fragrant herbs, or tagliatelli with prawns and courgette flowers or the fish risotto. Whichever, you’ll find excellent cooking at very reasonable prices.

 

Antiche Carampane

Rio Terrà de la Carampane, San Polo 1911 (0039 524 0165; www.antichecarampane.com).

Don’t even think of venturing to Antiche Carampane, not far from  Rialto yet buried in an almost impossible network of dark calli, sottoportegi  and courtyards, without first working out the route (details on the website). A long-time favourite with politicians and city dignitaries and their fur-wrapped wives, the white-walled restaurant, hung with pictures, is both cosy and elegant and the seafood, especially the outstandingly delicate fritto misto di pesce con le moeche (soft-shell crabs) is beautifully cooked. Service is brisk, but warm. There are tables on the pavement in summer.

 

Corte Sconta

Calle del Pestrin, Castello 3886  (0039 041 522 7024). Despite its cult status, especially amongst British visitors, no recommendation of Venice restaurants would be complete without this well- hidden courtyard (as its name translates) specialising in Venetian lagoon fish dishes. Choose the tasting menu and expect a seemingly endless parade of little fish dishes: marinated anchovies, soft-shell crab, spider crab paté, schie (tiny shrimp) with polenta, garusoli (spiny-shelled snails), sarde in soar, latti di sepie and more. Then perhaps a primi patti of pasta made on the premises; you are unlikely to have room for more. In summer you eat under a thick canopy of vines in the courtyard; the indoor restaurant is nothing special.

 

Dalla Marisa

Fondamente di San Giobbe, Cannaregio 652b (0039 041 720 211).

Marisa comes from a family of butchers (becheri) and her wonderful menu is mainly meat-based, an antidote to the many fish restaurants in Venice. Dishes include the unusual risotto con le secoe, made with a cut of beef around the backbone, bollito misto, tripe and succulent ragouts. A small, no nonsense place with tables inside and on the pavement. Once found, it will become a favourite.

 

De Pisis Hotel Bauer Campo San Moisè, San Marco 1459 (0039 041 520 7022; www.bauervenezia.com).

With sensational views, perhaps the best in Venice, of both the Grand Canal with its church of Santa Maria della Salute and St Mark’s Basin overlooked by Palladio’s church of San Giorgio, there is simply no more romantic place to dine than the terrace of De Pisis. Not only is it seductive, by candlelight and under moonlight, but the food lives up to the setting. Chef Giovanni Ciresa is responsible and his delicate, widely influenced dishes make a refreshing change from the usual Venetian diet. Choose from seasonal tasting menu (highly recommended), the traditional Venetian menu or the short à la carte menu – you are unlikely to be disappointed, and the desserts are particularly delicious.

 

Met

Hotel Metropole, Riva degli Schiavoni, Castello 4149 (0039 041 520 5044; www.hotelmetropole.com).

Of the half dozen or more hotels along the Riva degli Schiavoni, with its matchless views of the lagoon, this is my favourite. Still in private hands, it has endearing touches (the owner is a collector: everywhere you look are carved angels, lecterns, church pews, crucifixes, fans) and a core of twinkle-eyed staff who have been there forever. But while this privately owned hotel retains its personality, it has also kept up with the times with the arrival of the Zodiac bar and the Met restaurant, where rising star Corrado Fasolato has achieved the only Michelin star in Venice. You can dine in the intimate wood-panelled former chapel where Vivaldi taught orphan girls to sing, the velvet-hung salone or the shady garden.

 

Vini da Gigio

Fondamente San Felice, Cannaregio 3628a (0039 041 528 5140; www.vinidagigio.com).         

Vini da Gigio is not secret, and nor should it be, for it is one of the best value restaurants in Venice, filled with locals, with a cosy yet buzzing atmosphere and colourful owner. The comfortable dining room and small tables are ideal for groups of four or five, and though it’s always busy, the service is courteous and you never feel hurried. Specialities include raw fish antipasto, beef carpaccio, meatballs and masorino alla buranella (Burano style duck). You must leave room for a dessert.

 

 

 

Parisian pleasures

Whatever your style, there’s a Paris hotel to fit the bill. They fall into four distinct categories; once you know what they are, it’s a question of choosing the type that suits you, or your mood, best. Find all our recommendations, below, on the Hotel Guru.

First, there’s the thing that Paris does better than anywhere in the world, that indeed it invented: chic. Don’t stand at the reception desk of a chic Paris hotel in a pair of trainers, with a rucksack trailing on the ground. The reception staff won’t expel you, but the merest glance, even the flicker of an eyelid, should be enough to send you straight round to Prada for emergency supplies. You won’t mind the expense: these hotels may be haughty but they are also elegant and beautiful in a way that’s authentically French, entirely natural and very seductive.

The French may have invented chic, but they do hip pretty well too, though not always with such successful results. Sometimes style beats substance by a country mile, but when it works, it works spectacularly well. Witness Costes, in rue St Honoré (tel 0033 1 42 44 50 00) a hotel so cool that it doesn’t even stoop to a website, and where, once you are inside its faux-Napoleon III cocoon, you are swept into a parallel universe of beautiful people (the staff often outdo the guests) lolling on stuffed velvet love-seats, grooving to DJ Stephan Popougniac’s disco sounds, and canoodling behind wispy curtains around the misty, subterranean pool. But if Costes is still the daddy of them all, there have been a crop of successful new openings of late, each one creating a well-deserved buzz and its own following. We bring you the best. 

And then there are hotels with traditional French character, legions of them. Crooked floors, old beams, breakfast rooms in stone-walled cellars, nostalgic decoration. Many of them have been around for decades; some are on their last legs, while others have been refreshed. A few, even, are new, or have been substantially renovated in a characterful way. The trick is to know which are well run, and which have had their day.

As for budget hotels, most in Paris tend to be of the ‘character’ variety rather than contemporary, although there are one or two exceptions. Expect tiny wrought iron lifts and the feeling that you should be writing a novel at your desk, in the style of Colette, or getting out your easel. All the hotels listed here are in locations that make the best of this incomparably beautiful city.

 CHIC HOTELS

Meurice (228 rue de Rivoli, 1st; (00 33 1 44 58 10 10; www.meuricehotel.com; doubles from £599 per night, including breakfast).

If Costes is the daddy of hip, then the Meurice is the mère of chic. Officially Paris only rises to “four star luxe” rather than five-star hotel accommodation, which is probably what makes its top hotels so sensational: they are all in traditional mode and set in historic mansions, rather than bling new builds as in so many other cities. If only for its location, entered from the arches of the rue de Rivoli and overlooking the quintessentially Parisian Jardin des Tuileries, it has the edge, for my bar of gold, on its rivals the Ritz, Plaza-Athénée, Four Seasons Georges V, Bristol and Crillon. Once inside, it only gets more and more chic, the revamped interior glittering in gold, marble and glass in a way that’s dramatic yet dainty, with rows of gilt framed glass doors leading into the shadowy majesty of the Bar Fontainbleu, and the scintillating Versailles-themed, Michelin-starred restaurant. Rooms and suites hark back to the Empire and 18^th century and many have superb views, while the terrace of the Belle Etoile Suite has an amazing 360­º panorama over Paris. Spoiling spa; appropriate service.

Lancaster (7 rue de Berri, 8^th (00 33 1 40 76 40 76; www.hotel-lancaster.fr; doubles from £336 per night, including breakfast).

A recent stay at this aristocratic Champs-Elysées hotel proves that its new owners, the Spanish Hospes group, headed by the high society owners of Zara, have left well alone, only improving amenities such as beds and in-room entertainment. The grand ancien régime townhouse was bought in 1930 by legendary hotelier Emile Wolf, who filled it with unusual things and a starry array of guests from Coward to Dietrich. The original furniture remains intact, as does the enchanting Salon Berri and the red leather lift that takes you to your lovely bedroom. For the epitome of chic, choose the Marlene Dietrich Suite. Michel Troisgros oversees the menu in the classy restaurant.

Verneuil

8 rue de Verneuil, 7th (00 33 42 60 82 14; www.hotel-verneuil.com; doubles from £146 per night, including breakfast).

Chic usually means expensive, and it certainly doesn’t mean cheap, but this Saint-Germain address is at least affordable and provides a bolthole that feels both exclusive and welcoming, decorated in the manner of an elegant private house. Bedrooms (specify a large one) are furnished with antiques, with attractive lighting. There’s a cosy sitting room, and once you step outside, a wealth of antique and fashion shops. Owner Sylvie de Lattre, Parisian to her fingertips,  picks out her favourite local shops and cafés on the hotel’s website.

Thérèse (57 rue Thérèse, 1st; 00 33 1 42 96 10 01; www.hoteltherese.com; doubles from £154 per night, including breakfast).

A smart whitewashed building in a narrow street near the Louvre announces the Thérèse, carefully and calmly designed in classic/contemporary style, with an eye for quality. The elegant bedrooms have good quality beds and linens, while bathrooms neatly mix contemporary with traditional, such as Philippe Starck lighting and attractive old style tap fittings. Most importantly, the hotel attracts an interesting clientele, many from the world of publishing and fashion.

 HIP

 Amour

(8 rue de Navarin, 9th; 0033 1 48 78 31 80; www.hotelamour.com; doubles from £115 per night, including breakfast).

Brainchild of graffiti artist and nightclub entrepreneur André, the Amour has come storming on to the Paris hotel scene. It has the right name, is in the right place – up-and-coming SoPi (south Pigalle) – and is achingly hip. Bedrooms lead off black-painted corridors lit by naked bulbs. Some have been decorated by named artists; others display risqué photographs; all are eclectic, done out in vintage colours and with finds from the marché aux puces. The buzzing bistro downstairs, all black, white and fire-engine red, swarms at night with young bohos. In warm weather, tables and chairs spill out into the lush courtyard garden.

de Sers

(41 avenue Pierre 1er de Serbie, 8^th; 0033 1 53 23 75 75; www.hoteldesers.com; doubles from £401 per night, including breakfast).

Less than 100 metres from the iconic George V, here is a smaller mansion turned hotel with a dash of zaniness. When architect Thomas Vidalenc remodelled the 19^th-century home of the Marquis de Sers, he made a happy marriage between the traditionally elegant and cutting-edge design. Through a sliding glass door, the entrance hall sets the tone: a gallery of heavy gilt-framed portraits hangs on the panelled wall above a row of funky grey armchairs on deep purple carpet. The wood-clad, candlelit S’Bar becomes a magnet for a glamorous young crowd at the cocktail hour, and bedrooms offer deep-pile, wrap-around comfort.

Murano Urban Resort

(13 boulevard du Temple, 3^rd; 00 33 1 42 71 20 00; muranoresort.com; doubles from £290 per night, including breakfast).

If Costes is hip in an opulent way, then Murano Urban Resort, a close contender for top contemporary hotel of choice for A listers, is hip in a fun way. You may find the lift lined in faux fur on your first visit, glitter on your second; the iconic white chesterfield sofa stretches in front of an enormous working fireplace; the restaurant ceiling is a sea of stalactite lights; fingerprint scanners have replaced room keys, the corridors feel like nightclubs, two of the suites have tiny rooftop pools. Austen Powers is in there somewhere, and A Clockwork Orange, with a dash of Sci-Fi. Fun. And not nearly as intimidating as you might think.

CHARACTER

Daniel

(8 rue Fréderic Bastiat, 8^th; 00 33 1 42 56 17 00; www.hoteldanielparis.com; doubles from £350 per night, including breakfast).

Turning its back on the all-white minimalism of some of the latest hotels, newcomer The Daniel puts Chinoiserie firmly back on the style map, with Khotan carpets, hand-painted Chinese wallpaper, jewel-coloured silk sofas and porcelain lamps. The look, created by designer Tarfa Salam, is flamboyant and uplifting. From the lobby, in tones of almond green and grey, a lift resembling a Chinese box whisks guests up to the lovely bedrooms, most lined with toile de Jouy and all furnished with hand-picked oriental pieces. An Asian influence continues on to the menu of the excellent restaurant.

Caron de Beaumarchais (12 rue Vieille-du-Temple, 4^th; 00 33 1 42 72 34 12; www.carondebeaumarchais.com; doubles from €129 per night, including breakfast).

A glimpse through the glass front of this Marais hotel tells all: a recreation of 18^th century taste, complete with pianoforte, card table and first editions, and the world of Mozart’s librettist Caron de Beaumarchais, who lived in the street. It may be mannered, but it’s impossible not to be caught up in the charm and warmth of the place. Bedrooms, the best with walk-out balconies, are decorated with as much care as the public rooms. Good value for the area. 

L’Hôtel

(13 rue des Beaux-Arts, 6^th; 0033 1 44 41 99 00; www.l-hotel.com; doubles from £236 per night, including breakfast).

The ‘pavillion d’amour’ of the early 19^th century, the final home of Oscar Wilde in the early 20^th century and the louche and decadent celebrity hangout of the 60s and 70s is now, resplendent in its Jacques Garcia livery, in the caring hands of Jessica Sainsbury and husband Peter de Frankopan of Cowley Manor. Climb the fabulous circular staircase to rooms like jewel boxes and themed suites (if you can bear the tristesse you can sleep in the room in which Wilde expired beyond his means).

BUDGET

Arvor Saint-Georges

(8 rue Laferrière, 9^th; 0033 1 48 78 60 92; www.arvor-hotel-paris.com; doubles from £88 per night, including breakfast).

Around the corner from one of the city’s hidden gems, place Saint Georges, the Arvor is the new kid on the budget block. Behind a sober façade, hands-on owner Nadine Flammarion has transformed a standard three star into a hip, laid-back hotel with chic, retro-contemporary looks. The finished bedrooms – some are still being refurbished – major in white but with a single wall of vivid colour and are minimally yet carefully furnished. The open-plan ground floor incorporates a sitting area with bookshelves, a bar, reception and breakfast area decorated with the striped posters of French conceptual artist Daniel Buren. The tiny patio comes into its own in summer.

Chopin

(10 46 passage Jouffroy, 9^th; 0033 1 47 70 58 10; www.hotel-chopin.com; doubles from £76 per night, including breakfast).

Glimpsed through a glass façade at the end of one of the 19th-century arcades which thread this shopping and theatre neighbourhood, the Chopin’s entrance looks cosy and inviting. Inside, plants, a piano and, predictably, Chopin playing in the background infuse it with old-world charm. It could easily be a tourist trap. But it’s not. Staff are caring and attentive, and prices close to rock bottom. The bedrooms, off salmon pink corridors, are simple but attractive and blissfully quiet. The best, tucked under the eaves, have classic views across the Paris rooftops.

Mayet

(3 rue Mayet, 6^th; 0033 1 47 83 21 35; www.mayet.com; doubles from £90 per night, including breakfast).

Fun, relaxed, breezy and good value, the Mayet shows how colour – judiciously applied – can lift a hotel from the rut. There’s colour everywhere: graffiti-style murals; painted tables; carpets; even the mugs for your self-service breakfast (which you can take back to bed or eat at a long table d’hôte in the vaulted cellar). The more sober bedrooms in red, grey and white use stylish ‘office’ furniture to good effect, and all have excellent beds. Wondering where to dine? The friendly staff chalk up recommended restaurants on a lobby blackboard.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Perfect 24 Hours in Paris

Here’s Fiona and Leo’s recipe for a perfect 24 hours in Paris, now that it takes no time at all to nip across from St Pancras.

We came on Eurostar, now making Paris only just over two hours away from London. Now that the city of light is so close, consider nipping over for just one night: here’s my recipe for a perfect 24 hours in Paris. To complement your trip, buy Paris Walks by Fiona Duncan and Leonie Glass, published by Duncan Petersen Publishing Ltd at £8.99. It’s a little out of date (the odd shop has closed or changed) but the walks still take you to some fascinating out of the way places. Paris is a great city for walking in…. we loved writing that book three or four years ago. I did all my walks in a brace because I’d done my back in!

Since you are going to be there for such a short time, you can devote yourself to fun. Paris may have lost its edge as a city of global significance, but it’s still all about l’art de vivre, astonishing views, great shopping and classic food and wine.

Forget the set piece sights like the Louvre.  Instead, concentrate on getting to know one area of the city well. In 24 hours you’ve got time for no more than two meals, an afternoon at leisure and a night’s sleep but for such a short trip to be memorable, all those elements need to be even more carefully chosen than for a longer one. You may have a favourite quartier where you would prefer to base yourself; if not, here’s my recipe for a stay on the Rive Gauche.

The Hotel

A perfect reason for basing yourself in Montparnasse and exploring the Left Bank is the new Hôtel des Arts et Academies (15 rue de la Grande Chaumiere; 0033 1 43 26 66 44; www.hoteldesacademies.com; doubles from £165 to £214 per night, including breakfast). The best hotel, in my opinion, to have opened in the city for some time, it’s happy proof that the small charming Parisian bolthole is alive and kicking. Husband and wife Laurent and Charlotte Inschauspé have created a spotless, highly individual haven, cosy yet contemporary and full of artistic flair, right opposite the art school where Gaugin and Modigliani took courses and a few steps from the famous artists’ cafés of Montparnasse.

Two artists have deftly created the hotel’s unique look: Jerôme Mesnager, whose joyous white silhouettes are painted directly on to bedroom walls and all the way up the lift shaft  (making this the most intriguing glass lift ride in town) and sculptor – and mother of Charlotte – Sophie Watrigant, whose equally endearing figures climb a dainty steel ladder from the bottom to the top of the five-storey stair well.

As for the 20 bedrooms, they are compact but have the classy feel of a top hotel and come in four distinct designs, all cleverly lit with stone-lined bathrooms, sculptured taps and exceptional beds. Room service is provided by the well-regarded restaurant, Wadja, opposite.

In the morning take breakfast (all fresh) in the tiny ‘petit bistrot’ or at a velvet sofa beside shelves stocked with art books. Or take a seat facing the wall screen and watch an art video as you eat, perhaps of Mesnager at work painting his white figures on to the hotel’s walls. Service is from smiling, smartly uniformed waiters, while receptionists are relaxed and warm. A perfect fusion of quality and character. There’s even a little Moroccan style spa downstairs, where treatments can be arranged at short notice.

Alternatives

Two other alluring hotels in the same area are the intimate Ste Beuve (9 rue Ste Beuve; 0033 1 45 48 20 07; www.hotelsaintebeuveparis.com) with double rooms from £132 to £282 per night, including breakfast, and the romantic Duc de St Simon, set around a pretty, secluded courtyard (14 rue de St-Simon; 0044 1 44 39 20 20; www.hotelducdesaintsimon.com) with doubles from £188 to £305 per night).

Lunch and Dinner

Leave London at breakfast, and you will arrive in Paris with plenty of time to check into your hotel and relax there before setting out for that all-important first French meal of the trip. It had better be good. Simple, but good. Which means knowing where to go in advance and not just plunging into the nearest restaurant you see.

You have to look much more carefully these days. Brasseries, in particular, are no longer to be relied on, however inviting they may look. Most are now run by chains and their food is at best predictable, at worst, dire. Instead, look for well established, privately owned bistros that still have integrity, and for the crop of tiny restaurants run almost single-handed by young, committed chefs.

Two such places can be found in Montparnasse. Le Timbre (3 rue Ste Beuve; 0033 1 45 49 10 40) is just that, a postage stamp of a restaurant, its kitchen open to view at one end. Here a modest self-taught Mancunian, Chris Wright, cooks for up to 24 people entirely without help, in domestic French manner, with admirable results. Choose from his weekly changing menu of three to four starters, main courses and puddings; nothing will disappoint but you shouldn’t miss the lambs’ kidneys if they are on, or the millefeuille de la maison.

 We met the owners of La Cerisaie (70 boulevard Edgar Quinet; 0033 1 43 20 98 98 and their baby, at Le Timbre. “Cyril cooks like a dream”, Chris told us. “You must go there”. This is another one-chef/one-waitress operation, with Cyril Lalanne producing delicious regional dishes (including cochon de Bigorre – pork like you’ve never tasted before) from his native southwest France out of a kitchen no bigger than a large cupboard. His wife Maryse is front of house, and everyone chats.

If you lunch simply at either Le Timbre or La Cerisaie, it would be fun to dine in style, maybe in the new clothes you’ve bought that afternoon. Of the famous grands cafés of Montparnasse, La Closerie de Lilas (171 boulevard de Montparnasse; 0033 1 40 51 34 50) is the one that feels most like a special occasion. Choose from the brasserie or the more formal restaurant, and be sure to have a drink in the piano bar before you eat. Alternatively La Coupole (102 boulevard de Montparnasse; 0033 1 43 20 14 20) still packs them, especially for birthdays, while Le Dôme (108 boulevard du Montparnasse; 0033 1 43 35 25 81) is the place to go for those fruits de mer platters one dreams of back home.

The Afternoon

Paris is made for walking, with a constant stream of diversions as you stroll. Close at hand is Jardin de Luxembourg, a sheer delight, as appealing to lovers as to mothers with children to entertain (model boats, Shetland pony rides, playgrounds and puppet shows). It makes the perfect start to a stroll along elegant rue Servandoni to St-Sulpice and on into the fashionable St-Germain district, perfect for shopping.

In rue de Grenelle you could pop into the refreshingly cool and tranquil Musée Maillol, and afterwards the diminutive cheese shop Barthélémy, where white-coated ladies dispense perfect cheeses which M. Barthélémy has personally criss-crossed France to find. Odour-proof bags are provided for the trip home on Eurostar.

If you want culture, the Musée d’Orsay and Rodin Museum are both nearby. Little known curiosities in the neighbourhood, off the tourist track but well worth seeking out, include the silent, richly ornamented Chapel of St Vincent de Paul and his eerie shrine in Rue de Sèvres, the bucolic Jardin Catherine Labouré, entered via Rue de Babylone, and Notre-Dame de la Médaille-Miraculeuse round the corner in rue du Bac, which reveals Catherine Labouré’s story.

 

 

Britain’s most offbeat bed and breakfasts

This year, I was asked to judge a new category in the AA hotel awards – Best Funky B & Bs. Perhaps funky isn’t quite the word I’d choose but whatever you call the contenders – individual, imaginative, wacky, lively, different, fun – the AA is right to identify b & bs that break the mould.

Perhaps the establishments champion local artists, are proud to be green, or simply exude a sense of fun, but places to stay such as these are often hard to categorise and therefore neglected when it comes to accolades, and it’s high time they were recognised.

Not that funky is always fab; indeed there are some truly cringe-making examples of the genre. I remember a guesthouse in Gloucestershire where a perfectly charming old Cotswold house had been painted unrelenting purple from top to toe, with wall mirrors at odd angles and only waterbeds on which to sleep. And another “holistic” farmhouse in Wales where the bedroom furniture turned out to be mainly packing crates and guests were asked to hold hands and chant before dinner. I shudder at the thought.

And what of the “themed bedroom”? It rarely works in my experience. Whether it’s “Arabian Nights” or “African Jungle”, the room may thrill the hotelier who thought up the unusual concept, but unless its decoration was carried out with style, panache and a bit of expense, it can have a completely negative effect on the unsuspecting guests – who are, after all, the ones who have to sleep in it.

How often does an extrovert theme, or off-the-wall decoration, mask a badly run hotel? Too many hoteliers think that it’s enough to look hip, or go green, or stuff their hotel with peculiar antiques and bric-a-brac but it’s simply not. In my book, any winner of a funky b & b award must display imagination, yes, but also high standards of hotel-keeping in equal measure.

And so, in judging the AA’s five shortlisted hotels (I stayed one night in each of the hotels, anonymously), I looked for funky, yes, but also for comfort, professionalism, a warm welcome and value for money. If prizes were being handed out for second and third place, West Stoke House and the Mayflower would make worthy runners up.

As for my winner – is the Crazy Bear the Funkiest B&B in Britain? I think it would be very hard to beat.

The Crazy Bear, Oxfordshire

Is it funky? How else do you describe a reception that’s a double-decker bus, or a garden that’s full of palm trees, pastiche Classical statues and mannequins hanging in trees (plus a private dining room in a garden shed)? In the cosy bar, where oysters are served along with your Champagne, a large (and presumably crazy) stuffed brown bear dangles from the ceiling; up some steps in the English restaurant, padded pink walls, leopard-print carpet and wine bottles in rows lining the ceiling.

Down some steps in the exotic Thai restaurant: low seating, circular beaten metal tables and grinning gold masks embedded in walls of velvet. In your bedroom, along with much else of note, you’ll find the bath, not in the bathroom, but at the end of the bed.

Bedrooms range from tiny Art Deco rooms to fabulous Infinity Suites, camp and kitsch in the extreme (one has jet-black, fake fur on the walls and white, padded satin on the ceiling) but also beautifully executed and not remotely tacky.

Though we had booked one of these standard rooms, we were given a complimentary upgrade on arrival to a beautiful peppermint green Garden Suite with large windows on two sides, a pair of throne-like, leaf-shaped chairs and a huge (and funky) arrangement of flowers.

Save for our Thai dinner, which was enjoyable if unexceptional, we could find no fault: charming service, a wonderfully comfortable bed and (even on a Monday night) a gently animated buzz. In the morning: a promptly served breakfast, with plenty of choice, which you can eat in the bar or in the softly lit, pink-padded restaurant.

Yes, the Crazy Bear, in a quiet suburban setting, is full of surprises, highly individual and, just as important, very well-run: a worthy winner.

• Bear Lane, Stadhampton, Oxfordshire (01865 890714; www.crazybeargroup.co.uk). Doubles from £125 to £380, including breakfast.

Moss Grove Organic Hotel, Lake District

“What do they give you to eat there, then, moss?” queried the taxi driver at Windermere station when my friend and I asked to be taken to Grasmere’s first (indeed almost, but not quite, the UK’s first) organic hotel. We smiled wanly. We were slightly worried ourselves. Nuts and more nuts, we assumed.

We pondered what an organic b & b might look like. As it turned out, a former run-down guesthouse in the centre of Grasmere has been given a terrific face-lift, its stone façade cleverly illuminated by special one-watt lilac halogen bulbs that, so they say, cost thousands to install but will – apparently – never need to be replaced.

Inside, everything – from the clay-based paint and hand-printed wallpaper to the locally made, sustainable-wood furniture and the sheep’s-wool insulation – is organic. Even the tap water is specially filtered, we were told. “So the bath water’s pure, is it?” we asked. “Try drinking it and see for yourself. You can drink the water from loo if you like.”

The bathroom, as it turns out, was reassuringly normal, not to say luxurious, despite its much-heralded organic status. We didn’t drink the bath water but we did appreciate the underfloor heating, spa bath, excellent separate power shower and the room’s clean lines.

There were a few niggles: no wastebin, nowhere to put our washbags and no bath gel, just sachets of shampoo and a bottle of liquid soap (organic, of course) to share between shower, bath and basin.

The bedroom was similarly high tech (luckily, it would seem, you can be organic and still have a plasma-screen TV and Bose entertainment system). If you want to know what an organic DVD selection consists of, I can tell you: Basic Instinct II and Westerns.

Superb beds: cotton sheets and goose-down duvets, of course. Breakfast was definitely funky: a varied and imaginative buffet with dishes that ranged from savoury tofu and walnut bread crostini to Mediterranean salads, plus – of course – plenty of nuts.

• Grasmere, Cumbria (015394 35251; www.mossgrove.com). Doubles from £125 to £250 per night, including breakfast.

The Gallery, South Kensington

Walk into The Gallery and you are in for a surprise – and a trip back in time.

Though you wouldn’t guess it from the outside, this is no run-of-the-mill central London tourist hotel, but – as the brochure informs us – a recreation of a Victorian artist’s residence.

The theme makes for splendid reception rooms: dozens of closely packed, ornately framed paintings crowd together on mahogany-panelled walls, while a fine Jacobean revival chimneypiece takes centre stage. Button-back chairs, velvet-covered sofas and tall, potted palms add to the feeling that Burne-Jones or Rossetti might appear at any moment, palette in hand. Downstairs is a cosy Arts and Crafts-style sitting room, decorated William Morris wallpaper, and a spacious, attractive breakfast room.

Though The Gallery’s Victorian theme doesn’t extend to the bedrooms, they do have a certain old-fashioned charm. Ours was fairly small, but full of gilt and silk, with draped curtains and canopied bed, polished granite bathroom and French windows on to a terrace overlooking a small mews and the backs of houses opposite. Despite its trailing, oddly unhemmed valence, the bed was firm and excellent, and the room cosy: we slept very well. Next morning, we descended in the amusingly minute lift and re-entered the artist’s parlour. All in all, an unusual London hotel (with 24-hour room service for drinks and light meals, though slow on our visit) with delightful, quirky reception rooms. Perhaps though, as far as this award is concerned, The Gallery is more comfy than funky.

• 8-10 Queensberry Place, London (020 7915 0000; www.eeh.co.uk). Doubles from £145 to £275, including breakfast.

The Mayflower, Earl’s Court

Having trudged past a series of dire budget Earl’s Court hotels, my initial feeling on reaching The Mayflower was one of relief: its smart, freshly painted façade instantly put it in a league of its own. No disappointment, either, once inside: to the left, an airy bar/sitting room, with a bird trilling in its cage; to the right, a spacious reception area, calm and sophisticated. Despite the modest (for a central London hotel) layout of £95 for a mid-range double room I sensed that I was in good hands and ready to face what I knew would be a tiny bedroom with equanimity.

Tiny, but perfectly formed and, if you consider ethnic style funky, then funky, too. In a clever move that makes this budget address feel both hip and characterful, The Mayflower’s owners have enlivened the rooms with oriental artefacts, carved wooden cupboards and mirrored bed heads, silk cushions and velvet bedspreads, plus attractive blinds and sweeping curtains at the windows. Give them individual doors instead of the basic ones that are there now and they would be even more special.

My room, No 17, was a small oblong, with no space for a bedside table, but a useful wooden ottoman at the end of the bed, plus a desk (with a folder of guest information and a complimentary copy of The Daily Telegraph) and chair, a huge blue urn on top of the cupboard, and a glass lantern that, as night fell, cast striped shadows on the walls, transforming the room into something like a Berber tent. It was minute, yes; with two of us it would have been even more cramped, but I couldn’t imagine better use being made of its diminutive space.

By morning, the excellent breakfast – in the airy, stylish breakfast room – came as no surprise, and I reflected, as I left, that The Mayflower stands out like an Aladdin’s lamp in a junk shop among inexpensive central London hotels.

• 26-28 Trebovir Road, London (020 7370 0991; www.mayflower-group.co.uk). Doubles from £89 per night, including breakfast.

West Stoke House, West Sussex

If like me, you can’t imagine what’s going to be funky about this large, white Georgian mansion in peaceful countryside near Chichester, you’ll only have to wait long enough for the owner to greet you at the door and take your bags. Rowland Leach – rotund, wild-haired, bandy legged and dressed in baggy shorts and Chelsea boots all year round – is definitely the funkiest thing about West Stoke House. And if you are funky, then so, as night follows day, is your hotel.

A few years ago, Rowland found West Stoke House in a sorry state, personally renovated it and opened it, with his wife, Mary, as a b & b. Soon, however, they added a restaurant, installing Darren Brown, formerly of the Lanesborough Hotel, as chef.

On a Saturday night, it was packed with young and old, all enjoying the laid-back atmosphere and glamorous setting. In the large hall (for drinks): poster-red walls, red leather bucket chairs, yellow curtains across a wall of windows, an eclectic assortment of tables and lamps; in the lovely ballroom (for dinner): stripped wood floor, vast, colourful paintings and candlelight; in the dining room (for breakfast): panelled walls painted duck-egg blue and starched, white tablecloths.

The bedrooms are calmer: elegant spaces decorated with French antiques and unframed paintings by local artists. There are also fresh country flowers, plasma TVs, DVDs and huge beds dressed in Egyptian cotton. Ours overlooked the carefully tended garden, and had a large bathroom with a tub so deep that I had to be winched out. When we arrived, Rowland had whisked us up to it, merrily carrying our bags. In the morning, there he was again, still in his shorts, a cheery wave for all.

• West Stoke, Chichester, West Sussex (01243 575226; www.weststokehouse.co.uk). Doubles from £150 to £175, including breakfast.